Customer Service

Washing machine can’t run any cycles that use cold water. Call the home builder and a plumber to check it out, and they all agree it’s an issue with the machine.

Under extended warranty, so no big deal.

Call Home Depot.

Home Depot says Service will call me.

Service says Samsung needs to fix it.

Service transfers me to Samsung.

Samsung rep legit sounds like Charlie Brown’s teacher, and I laugh at everything he says (at least I think it was a he) for five minutes.

Charlie Brown hangs up on me. (He could hear me just fine, I gave him my number and asked him to call me back. He did not.)

I call Samsung directly, and this time I can hear, but it’s painfully obvious that English is not a first language.

I miss Charlie Brown a little. I have no idea how good his English was, but at least we had some laughs. 

Rep asks me to “troubleshoot” some things – like, disconnecting the water supply and taking the back panel off the washing machine.

Ummmmmmmm, no.

Rep then asks me to unplug the washer and plug it back in – like it’s a desktop computer from 1997 – and like that has anything to do with the water supply.

I pretend to do that.

I hold, and fantasize about setting things on fire.

An hour later, service is scheduled for later this week, thank you baby Jesus, and as of right now I didn’t have to resort to committing arson.