Peepants McGee.

That’s what I’m thinking about changing my name to.

Coughing or sneezing? Forget about it. I’m peeing my pants. It’s an ongoing battle, and I’ve yet to win once.

In other pee-pantsing news, I randomly met Kevin Nealon this weekend!

One of Mike’s co-workers got married on Saturday, and I pulled it together enough to use a hairdryer, and put on some makeup, but the overall effect was not really what you’d call “complete.” But I thought, it’s not my wedding — I don’t need to have my picture taken tonight, so I don’t care.

Anyway — the reception was at a local hotel. On my way to the bathrooms outside of the ballroom, someone told me Kevin Nealon was in the business center right behind me. Of course he was! So we said hello, and took some pictures with a guy who Steve Martin (AKA the man of my dreams) once attacked with a tennis racket.

My point is, always make sure to curl your damn hair, even if you’re hot and sweaty and nine months pregnant.  Otherwise your already pregnant face will look GIGANTIC next to say, oh I don’t know, Kevin Nealon’s. Valuable life-lessons, friends!

kevinnealon

In other (less pee-pantsy) news, this week is my last week of work. It’s not going to be a huge adjustment, since I only worked part-time anyway, but I’m looking forward to it. We’ve gotten a lot more done in preparation for Mr. Baby’s arrival in a few weeks, but I have a few more projects I want to finish. I went to Babies R Us over the weekend and got a lot of the stuff we still wanted from our registry, so I finally feel like I have everything I need in the house if he were to make a surprise appearance a little early.

I still have to officially pack our bags for the hospital, but I’ve been setting stuff aside for a while that I just have to throw into a bag. We need to get the carseat installed and inspected too, that’s on my list for this week, if I can stay awake long enough.

Stay awake you say? What the hell do you do all day, fool?! I try to keep my eyes open (and maybe do some laundry, and think about going to the grocery store what to order for dinner) because sleeping at night is officially impossible.

I’ve read all the books, and everyone told me, “oh yeah, that’s your body’s way of preparing you to be up all night!” And it was like someone flipped a switch, and now I’m just up all night. Up to pee at least four times — in between weird half-dreams about my Baby To-Do List and/or Channing Tatum, where I never really feel like I fall asleep. My heartburn actually feels like it’s killing me, which is fun and exciting. Adding insult to actual injury, I ended up with carpal tunnel syndrome in BOTH of my wrists, and it’s the absolute worst at night. Like, I wake up and can’t use my hands at all — which, I’m sure you can imagine, makes those four-plus trips to the bathroom really interesting.

The only thing that helps is a wrist brace/thumb immobilizer, so I wear one on each arm when I sleep.

I could be an extra in Madonna’s Lucky Star video — if they were sweaty and pregnant, and half-asleep. It’s a really good look.

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