Mr. Baby: By the Numbers

29 — I’m 29 weeks pregnant today. It seems like yesterday we were on pin and needles, hoping to make it past six weeks, and then 12 weeks, and then into the second trimester, and then waiting to find out if baby was a Mister or a Miss. And now the doctors are all, “Oh, well the pregnancy is viable,” like I should just stop worrying about things and take it easy. Umm, I appreciate your optimism — but let’s let him bake as long as possible, athankyou.

11 — … So that means I have 11 weeks left to go. I met with my Hematologist yesterday, and he recommended that I push my OB and the High Risk docs for an induction. It’s sort of a long, medicinal story, but basically taking blood thinner and having a baby gets sort of complicated towards the end (especially if you want an epidural, which I do, because I’m not a hero). His opinion is: 1) take the meds as long as possible, 2) if you wake up one day after 37 weeks and feel funny, skip the shot, just in case. and 3) ask for an induction date so we can schedule my last dose of blood thinner accordingly. I’ve got no issues with getting induced, as long as all the docs are on board and I’m like 38+ weeks along. So we’ll see what happens…

4 — I’m still giving myself four shots a day. Two in the morning (blood thinner and insulin) and then insulin before dinner, and at bedtime. Insulin needles are adorable, compared to blood thinner needles.

2 — Pregnancy has given me a serious case of the dropsies — and so far I’ve dropped those aforementioned syringes twice, and tried to catch them. Well, I guess I successfully caught them, but I’m not sure if it counts as “catching” when you just end up with a needle sticking in your palm, and once under my fingernail. Damn cat-like reflexes.

4 — In between those four shots, I also get to check my blood sugar four times a day. Once in the morning, and then again after breakfast, lunch and dinner. It’s really not that bad — aside from the morning check, which needs to happen around 7-8 hours after my last meal the night before. So, if I eat a snack at 10 and go to bed, I need to test between 5-6am. But I don’t have a “real job” and I get to sleep a lot, so I have to wake up like three hours early and prick my finger, while I’m half-asleep. #Housewifeproblems, I know.

20 — I mean, I have a job — I’m just not there very often. I work two days a week (and that’s assuming I don’t have to spend the day in Georgetown, visiting my Hematologist, despite my best attempts to schedule things on my days off). So, say I’m induced at 39 weeks — that’s only 10 weeks away, which means I only work 20 more days, and then I have a baby, which is crazy.

5 — Sorry pregnant ladies everywhere, but at almost seven months pregnant, I still weigh five pounds LESS than I did when I got pregnant (I’m not really sorry, I’m super excited).

2.5 — Yet, despite my magical negative pregnancy weight gain, Mr. Baby is weighing in at an impressive 2.5 pounds, and the internet assures me he’s the size of a butternut squash. I have another growth scan in a few days (the only plus of dealing with gestational diabetes, is lots and lots of ultrasounds) so we’ll be able to see if he’s still growing on schedule (which he has been so far).

3 — We (and by “we,” I mean “I”) registered at three places. Mike was a big help for our main registry — he followed me around and said things like, “whatever you want, dear,” and “sure that sounds good,” and “when I scan your head with the scanner, nothing comes up.” The other two I did on my own, because Mike could care less what crib sheets we have, or how many muslin swaddles I pick out. I cannot stop checking my registries to see what’s been purchased already (I did the same thing when we got married, don’t judge me!).

1 — Cases of “Sleep Sadness.” What’s that, you ask? Well, I sort of made it up. The other night I was asleep, on my wrong side, and apparently I started snoring right in Mike’s ear. So he very sweetly and quietly woke me up, and asked me to roll over, and I BURST INTO TEARS. I was just so, so sad that I was keeping him awake. He was like, “Gah! Don’t cry, I love you!” and I sleepily yelled (on my way to the bathroom, because helllooooo that’s all I do now), “I’m fine, I just have sleep sadness!” Mike insisted that’s not a thing, but obviously it is.

153 — The number of times I roll my eyes while reading posts on BabyCenter. Super-fertile people complain about everything, and most of them don’t understand anything about baby shower etiquette. It’s also nice to know there’s no correlation between being able to spell, or read and write, and the ability to get pregnant whenever you feel like it. Also, there are going to be a bunch of kids with really, really weird names growing up with Mr. Baby. In short, BabyCenter is the worst (unless you have to take blood thinner — those ladies are cool, and not annoying.)

1 — So, I broke down last week, and cheated on my GD diet, just once. I didn’t feel great, I’d had a terrible night’s sleep, and all I wanted was a bowl of pasta for dinner. Nothing else sounded remotely appetizing, and after doing a little reading — I decided to just indulge the craving. I figure a sporadic increase in blood sugar isn’t going to do any long-term damage to me or Mr. Baby (if it did, OBs wouldn’t order glucose testing, sometimes repeatedly, right?) and since I don’t plan on doing it all day, every day, I just said screw it — bring me the tortellini. Here’s hoping I don’t end up with a 13 pound baby.

3 — Starting in about three weeks, I get to go to the doctor(s) three times a week. Once to my regular OB, and twice for monitoring and non-stress tests with the High Risk team at the hospital. I’ll make the one- to two-hour drive to check in with the Hematologist a few more times too. It’s a lot of appointments, yes — but you won’t hear me complaining. After everything we’ve gone through to get to this point, I’m all for extra attention and monitoring. Thrice-weekly checks to make sure I’m not in early labor, and Mr. Baby is OK? That sounds good to me.

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3 thoughts on “Mr. Baby: By the Numbers

  1. Hey don’t forget your BabyCenter friends with PCOS! Er… well I am not pregnant, but still 🙂 I know how you feel though, I have to “hold my tongue” (er… fingers?) when I read these teenager posts or people who keep on accidentally getting pregnant. Ugh…

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