Well That Was Embarrassing

I think it’s safe to say I don’t embarrass easily.

Some of the most embarrassing things that have ever happened to me (and all witnesses who were at one point sworn to secrecy) are now my go-to party stories.

Unless, say, my grandma is at that party. They’re not really grandma-approved.

But I have no problem whatsoever telling total strangers about the horrible and embarrassing things that have happened to me.

So, no. I don’t really embarrass easily.

Yesterday, though, I sort of did.

Mike’s company was having a meeting to discuss the upcoming changes to our health insurance, and since my babymaker is heavily invested is said plan, I decided to attend.

I got there about two minutes late (thanks for nothing, road construction) and everyone was already sitting in the conference room.

A conference room surrounded by glass walls.

So I walked up to the double doors, and went inside.

Only I didn’t.

I tried the door on the right, but it didn’t open. So I thought, oh, it’s locked. That’s weird. So I tried the door on the left. Again. No go.

So I just sort of stood there with this dejected look on my face. And everyone could see me, you know, thanks to the glass walls.

And then one of Mike’s co-workers looked at me and mouthed “you have to push.”

Of course you do.

Doesn’t everyone try to pull, fail, and then give up?

No? You try pushing when pulling fails? Well, aren’t you a rocket scientist!

So, I push open the doors, and say, “I guess it’s no surprise I can’t find a job.”

Everyone continues laughing. You know, because they we’re already laughing at my inability to open a door.

I walk to the back of the room, and sit next to Mike, who informs me, “we’re on speakerphone with the whole company.”

Of course we are.


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