A few things you need to know:
1) My grandma is a little hard of hearing.
2) I’m still not pregnant — and now IVF is on the table.
3) Apparently ovaries are about the size of almonds. Who knew?
A few days ago, Mike & I met with the doctor, and she walked us through what the IVF process would be like for us. This was where the whole ovaries = almonds thing came into play. Apparently (and I’m super simplifying here), during IVF — the medicine you take causes your ovaries to go from the size of almonds to the size of lemons.
I think this is a significant change, yes?
So last night I had dinner with my mother, my aunts, and my grandma — and, inevitably, the conversation turned to my thus far barren uterus.
I’d already filled my mom in on all the gory lemon-sized details, so she was explaining everything to everyone else while I stuffed my face with salad (because I’m trying to trick my ovaries into thinking they live inside a skinny person). I filled in the details here and there, when necessary. (Like, instead of shots once a day, for five days, it’s shots twice a day, for ten days. This is the apparently the almonds/lemons ratio.)
So my mother finally gets to the point of the story, “The medicine she has to take will make her ovaries the size of lemons!”
To which my grandma exclaimed, “My god! How is she supposed to swallow a pill the size of a lemon?!”
Also — just in case you were wondering — I found this: