So Little Time & My Leg Itches

Sometimes I wonder how I functioned at all when I was working 40 (and then just 25) hours a week.

Yesterday I was in the home office all day, working on Etsy orders, baby birthday plans for my faux-nephew, and a baby shower for my real cousin. I also had to run to the post office to mail said orders, stop at Walmart for drugs, and snacks and maybe a diet soda (so, uh, more drugs). In between, I was puttering around the house, putting away the Christmas tree (finally) and watching TV (naturally).

Between doctor’s appointments (that are occasionally daily), errands, Etsy, lunches, friends in crisis, and an overzealous DVR schedule, I don’t know how I could fit in an actual job.

Take today for example: Early morning monitoring (I have beautiful ovaries, and a weird leg rash), some breakfast, and a quick stop at Party City (Thomas the Tank Engine supplies, I needed these and they didn’t have them! So I improvised), Petco (Ravens jerseys for the dogs are too expensive, womp-womp), and Costco (why are they already selling goggles and pool supplies?!). I was still home by 11. I’m amazing.

Oh, and thanks a lot Costco for that huge pile of stretchy/reversable extra-long yoga pants. A normal person would probably see them and think, “I’m going to exercise even more in those awesome pants!” Not me.  I thought, “Ohh, I don’t leave the house, and now I can eat more french fries.”

I bought two pairs.

Also — just in case you’re wondering — the Adele Pandora station is amazing. Totally unrelated. But you needed to know.

Anyway — I had to make an additional stop on my way home this morning for some cortisone cream, which I’ve never had to purchase in 31 years. Apparently there’s a chance I had a reaction to one of my fertility meds.

It’s sort of inconclusive, because — um — my legs were hairy.

See, there’s usually a two-week span when you don’t have to go to the doctor while you sit at home and wait to see if you’re pregnant. I wasn’t (womp-womp). Anyway — it’s January, and I’m lazy, and despite Mike’s constant (and loving) reminders that my legs are disgusting — I didn’t shave. So when my shin got super itchy, I figured it was just dry (and hairy) winter skin. But a few days ago, I broke down and broke out the razor, and there was a huge red, splotchy rash there.

I showed it to my nurse this morning, and apparently it’s pretty common for ladies to react to this particular hormone. Only, ummm — I guess it’s more common for the rash to show up in other places. She said she’s never seen it on a shin before (I’m a medical marvel). So I’m just going to go ahead and consider myself one of the lucky ones.

So, I came home, and lotioned up my shin, and watched last night’s 90210. Remember when it was terrible, but in a good way? Now it’s just sort of terrible in a terrible way. But oooh, Adrianna’s baby is back! And Liam’s new girlfriend is a crazy liar! Which is why I still watch it.  Judge away.  Haters gonna hate.

Anyway — while I was watching my terrible TV shows — I made my own cupcake toppers, since Party City dropped the ball, and I can make just about anything with enough crazy glue. Throw in some oversized confetti, and some toothpicks, and we’re in business.

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2 thoughts on “So Little Time & My Leg Itches

  1. The concatenation of your categories/tags together is increasingly poetic.
    “DIY Husbang” and “Unemployment Yoga Pants” are among my faves.

  2. Pingback: I’m So … Inappropriate??! « Spite or Flight

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