Three Wishes

A few days ago, on 11/11/11 everyone was probably making wishes at 11:11.

I didn’t because I forgot.

But if I had — I would’ve hoped it went something like this:

Are you looking’ at me?! Did you rub my lamp?!

I’d want a sassy Genie.

Man, I loved that movie. Do I own that movie? I don’t think I do. Smoop — buy it for me for Christmas!

Anyway — if I had three wishes, they’d go a little something like this.

#1. Babies. Awesome babies. Tall babies. Short babies. Fat babies, for sure. Whenever I want them. Babies everywhere!

#2. You know what would be the best thing, ever? Some kind of pill you could take, or maybe a cream you could rub on your body to make fat disappear. Because I don’t mind fruits and vegetables, and I actually like to exercise, but I don’t have all day people. It would also be fantastic if you could make that fat reappear on your enemies.

#3. Everyone always says they want to win the lottery, but I feel like horrible things happen to lottery winners. No. I’d rather have a magical power, so that every time I put my hand in any pocket, $20 would appear. Reach in there a few times a day, and you don’t have to worry about paying for anything. I feel like that’s someone else’s wish — maybe Jason’s? But it’s a good one, so I’m taking it.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I might watch some Disney movies.


One thought on “Three Wishes

  1. Adam Carolla has always said that he’d love to be invisible. But not so he could spy on women changing, or sneak into banks and take money. He wants to be invisible so nobody will bother him, because they won’t be able to see where he is. I think that’s a great idea. Plus, if that gets boring, you could spy on women changing. I think my wishes would be something like this – #1 flawless health for my family and friends (and the families of the friends as well, but it stops there), #2 never having to worry about money again for family + friends + families of friends (and this could either be in the form of a lump-sum bonus, lotto-style, or a never ending supply of $20s in the pocket!), and #3 I want to be able to fly. And my friends and family cannot fly, only I can.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s