Yesterday, something magical happened.
For the first time, in about 30 years — I didn’t eat any Halloween candy.
This is not because I’m super disciplined. (That’s not to say I haven’t been disciplined — I’m still sugar, dairy, caffeine, and flour-free.)
It’s because I’m terrified of pooping my pants.
Allow me to explain.
See, one of the other medications I’m taking in addition to gobs of hormones, is an anti-diabetic drug. PCOS is associated with insulin resistance, and studies have shown these drugs in combination with the hormones have a higher success rate in making the babies.
Fine, right? I’m rarely hungry, I’m losing weight (thanks to the pills, and my diet changes), and it’s super cheap (like your mom) so everybody wins.
Oh, except, if you eat anything with sugar in it — you might poop in your pants.
So, bearing that in mind, I didn’t eat those cupcakes I decorated last week. I did instinctively lick some icing off my finger that night, and as a result had a very touch and go drive home. I’ve shied away from the Girl Scout cookies we ordered weeks ago that just showed up on our doorstep, and I’ve been feeding anything sugary left in the house to Mike (the lucky bastard).
The problem? Sometimes natural sugars — say in a banana — can have the same effect as if I ate half a sleeve of Thin Mints.
Yesterday I stopped for some lunch while I was out running errands, and I had a bowl of Tomato Basil soup. Now, I refuse to eat tomatos, unless they’re in soup form, so I have no idea if they’re a sugary fruit? Or maybe the soup had more cream in it than I imagined, and my new dairy-free system was defending itself? Either way — the end result was what can only be described as an “emergency.” Thankfully, I made it to my next destination. Just in time.
So, really there were two miracles yesterday.