Take Me Out To The Ballgame

I can probably count on one hand the number of times I’ve actually purchased tickets to a baseball game.

One of the (only) perks of my momma’s job is free Oriole’s tickets from one of her vendors. I’ve been going to games, sitting three rows behind the dugout for as long as I can remember. The first time I sat in the cheap seats? Was a rude awakening.

Anyway, last night I went to the game with some friends, courtesy of my momma/faceless vendors, and I discovered a few things to be true:

1) My wedding rings look amazeballs under stadium lights, just in case you were wondering. I want to have some installed in my kitchen. Too much? We’ll see.

2) The woman sitting in front of us had the worst hair I have ever seen, ever. And just in case you didn’t believe me, I took a picture, which unfortunately doesn’t do it justice. I assure you, she needed immediate assistance from a professional stylist.

3) Someone else nearby (I suspect Miss Haircut up there) was also wearing what could only be natural deodorant. Aluminum is your friend, people. Kindly rub it all over yourselves for the rest of our sakes.

4) Red Sox fans are pretty obnoxious, but they’re nowhere near as bad as Yankees fans. Also, an inside-the-park homerun will shut them up pretty quickly.

5) … and finally, it’s good to know that a winning smile and big boobs can still get a girl out of a speeding ticket… Β In my defense, it was dark and foggy, and I didn’t see the cop lurking in the shadows (because I was toooootally speeding). Sorry mom.

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