Remember the other day, when I was telling you about my vacation, and how we were lazy, and we ate too much, and we played a lot of board games. Also, that someone peed their pants?
I thought I could elaborate on that a little.
See, we take our games seriously. I don’t care what we’re playing — we’re all playing to win. Except my husband, who does not like conflict, or competition. He’s afraid of us, and usually only plays with a small group, or sticks to things like Dominos where there are clear-cut rules.
Because we break the rules, a lot.
Take Pictionary for example.
We’ve been playing Pictionary at the beach for as long as I can remember. I don’t think any of us have read the rules in the last 15 years — so I’m sure we do things we’re not allowed to do. Like, we allow minor charades — particularly chopping with our hands if a word or a phrase is close, but needs to be shortened. Also, there’s a lot of oh-my-god-you’ve-almost-got-it-keep-going hand gestures. But everyone does it, so it’s an even playing field. We also allow people to write down any words that are pertinent to the answer once your teammate has guessed it.
So, for example — if the word was tiptoe, and you got them to say toe, you could write that down with a blank space in front. Right? We’re all on the same page? Ok.
This year there was a small controversy regarding that last rule of ours. I won’t get into the details, because it was… tense. But there were two opinions on the matter — and each side was pretty passionate.
Let’s just say that after that game, Mike didn’t play anymore. At all.
But aside from that minor heated debate — some of the guesses and drawings were so hilarious this year that Mike suggested we start saving them for a Wall of Shame.
Sadly, the best examples were already in the trash by the time we thought about it. Those included:
The word was Israel. My mother’s guess? Religious Peanut. … Because that’s a thing.
The word was Billy Club. My mother’s drawing? Someone with a spiked club, beating a cat to death. She insists it was a tiger? I’m pretty sure she gave it a collar though…
But the best/worst of the year had to be Sylvester Stallone.
First of all, how do you draw Sylvester Stallone??! Seriously, I want to know — because I had to do it. And I almost got them to say it!!
It was an All Play — for those of you not familiar with Pictionary — that means both teams were drawing at the same time, so it was a race type situation.
This was my plan of attack:
Stick figure + boxing gloves. … and then a film reel? That’s not much of a plan, I realize.
So, I start with the faceless stick figure. I decide to give him a hint of a penis, so my team would know it was a guy. I get to the boxing gloves, and we’re doing ok. Someone says it’s Rocky. I silently encourage them to keep-going-omg-we’re-so-close. Someone guesses the Actor Who Played Rocky. My head almost explodes.
For whatever reason, I opt to give the stick figure a smiley face at this moment. Mainly because we almost had it — the right answer had to be right around the corner, and I couldn’t think of anything else to draw. I mean you can only point at what you already have so many times.
Then someone (a nameless and completely unidentifiable teammate of mine) as a result of the newly added smiley face loudly guesses:
“ROCKY LOVES HIS PENIS!”
… and the other team gets the right answer.
My teammate then proceeds to laugh so hard at my drawing and her own guesses, that she pees her pants. In front of about 10 people.
I guess most people would call it a night after something like that? We started a load of laundry — she changed her pants — and we kept playing until we won.
I told you. We’re serious.
Also, we totally kept that drawing.
Oh, hey. While I have you here… feel free to vote for Spite or Flight as one of Baltimore’s Best Blogs!