Actually, Mike got back from vacation on Wednesday, and I got back on Saturday.
I spent the weekend
cleaning the house and unpacking laying around in my pajamas, eating carryout and watching Mad Men, because obviously I was still in vacay-mode.
What is it about the first day back to work after a vacation, that makes you want to straight up murder someone?
I’ll tell you what it is.
It’s a week’s worth of whiny emails, just sitting there, waiting to ruin your morning.
Or finding out your replacement is officially starting in three weeks, and your last day is only 19 working days away. Mike’s response? “Housewife city!”
Or sitting down to write a blog post about how awesome your vacation was, and, “oh hey guys, look at all these adorable pictures of my niece, and my hilarious family” — only to discover your iPhone is in some sort of coma, and those pictures are being held hostage until your husband comes home and fixes the computery problem.
I did manage to salvage one photo of my niece Olivia.
Turns out, babies are pretty narcissistic — so Miss Thang was a big fan of my Photobooth App.
It’s cool. You can say it. We already all know it anyway, right?
No offense to your babies. But come on.
In other vacation news, no one had to go to the hospital this year — although I did get to spend the whole week wearing a knee brace onto the beach, and into the water. I have a super-sexy tan line and everything. Also, on the last day, a wave hit me so hard, my boobs popped out of my strapless bathing suit, and I totally didn’t even realize it for a few seconds, so I just stood there — facing the shoreline — with the ladies hanging out. Classy.
Oh, and speaking of classy — someone actually laughed so hard, they peed their pants.
Also, Tubby’s isn’t just closed. No. The building is gone! It’s just an empty lot!
Wait, what? Oh, yeah — someone peed in their pants. But I can’t really do that story justice without 1) scanning some Pictionary drawings, and 2) protecting the identities of the innocent. So, you’ll have to wait for more information.