Nope, still not pregnant. Or, in this case, NSNP*.
See, I read a lot of baby blogs, and fertility message boards, and baby-making newsletters — and they all (in my opinion) use way too many abbreviations. Seriously, half of them make no sense to me, and I have to look them up in the freaking glossary.
I can see how some of them might save you some time. For example:
ART — Assisted Reproductive Technology
CBEFM — Clear Blue Easy Fertility Monitor
EWCM — Egg White Cervical Mucus
ICSI — Intracytoplasmic Sperm Injection
PCOS — Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (shout out to my ovaries, haaaayyyyy!)
But some? Oh, they infuriate me. I think they’re totally unnecessary. Like, maybe:
AF — Aunt Flo
(Seriously, you’re too lazy to type that? I hate you.)
BBs — Breasts
(See above. Also, I can think of like 15 other words for Breasts that are shorter, and already faster to type.)
BM — Bowel Movement or Breast Milk
(You do not want to confuse those two.)
DH — Dear/Darling Husband
(This one drove me nuts. First because I had no idea what the hell they were talking about, and once I figured it out I wanted to go on a punching spree. Don’t get me wrong, I love my husband, and he is sort of darling, but if you insist on abbreviating, you couldn’t just go with hubs?)
ER — Emergency Room
(Ok, yes, I’m ok with the abbreviation in this case — I’m just annoyed with humanity that it needed to be listed in the glossary in the first place.)
FI — Fiance
(Just spell it out already!)
KU — Knocked Up
(The classiest abbreviation so far.)
POMF — Pee on My Fingers
(Nope. I was wrong. This is classier.)
Sniss — Sneeze+Pee
(Wait, wrong again. Super classy.)
YI — Yeast infection
(God help us.)
*You won’t find NSNP listed in the glossary, because I just made it up. Or, you know, MIU. So, while I’m at it, I’m going to make up some more.
NPJF — Not Pregnant, Just Fat
SPMIS — Stop Poking Me, I’m Sleeping
TBWCC — The Baby Wants Chocolate Cake
SAMHIG — Stop Asking Me How It’s Going
WWTTACM — Who Wants To Talk About Cervical Mucus?
IAWMWBIWRMS — I’m Afraid When My Water Breaks It Will Ruin My Shoes
IWNPPOSIPOTF — I Will Not Post Pictures of Something I Peed On To Facebook
You feel free to use those, whenever.