Baby Shorthand

Nope, still not pregnant. Or, in this case, NSNP*.

See, I read a lot of baby blogs, and fertility message boards, and baby-making newsletters — and they all (in my opinion) use way too many abbreviations. Seriously, half of them make no sense to me, and I have to look them up in the freaking glossary.

I can see how some of them might save you some time.  For example:

ART — Assisted Reproductive Technology
CBEFM — Clear Blue Easy Fertility Monitor
EWCM — Egg White Cervical Mucus
ICSI — Intracytoplasmic Sperm Injection
PCOS  — Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (shout out to my ovaries, haaaayyyyy!)

Right?  Ok.

But some? Oh, they infuriate me.  I think they’re totally unnecessary. Like, maybe:

AF — Aunt Flo
(Seriously, you’re too lazy to type that? I hate you.)

BBs — Breasts
(See above. Also, I can think of like 15 other words for Breasts that are shorter, and already faster to type.)

BM — Bowel Movement or Breast Milk
(You do not want to confuse those two.)

DH — Dear/Darling Husband
(This one drove me nuts. First because I had no idea what the hell they were talking about, and once I figured it out I wanted to go on a punching spree. Don’t get me wrong, I love my husband, and he is sort of darling, but if you insist on abbreviating, you couldn’t just go with hubs?)

ER — Emergency Room
(Ok, yes, I’m ok with the abbreviation in this case — I’m just annoyed with humanity that it needed to be listed in the glossary in the first place.)

FI — Fiance
(Just spell it out already!)

KU — Knocked Up
(The classiest abbreviation so far.)

POMF — Pee on My Fingers
(Nope.  I was wrong.  This is classier.)

Sniss — Sneeze+Pee
(Wait, wrong again.  Super classy.)

YI — Yeast infection
(God help us.)

*You won’t find NSNP listed in the glossary, because I just made it up.  Or, you know, MIU. So, while I’m at it, I’m going to make up some more.

NPJF — Not Pregnant, Just Fat
SPMIS — Stop Poking Me, I’m Sleeping
TBWCC — The Baby Wants Chocolate Cake
SAMHIG — Stop Asking Me How It’s Going
WWTTACM — Who Wants To Talk About Cervical Mucus?
IAWMWBIWRMS — I’m Afraid When My Water Breaks It Will Ruin My Shoes
IWNPPOSIPOTF — I Will Not Post Pictures of Something I Peed On To Facebook

You feel free to use those, whenever.


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