(2008 status — Dating Mike for three weeks, the smittenest of smitten)
Do you want to have a boyfriend this summer?
Yes. Which is good, because I already do. Allegedly, he’ll still be here in the fall.
(He was. He still is.)
Who was the last person you fell asleep with?
Mike – we had a sleepover. Again. We do that a lot.
Are you a morning person or a night person?
A night person, fo sho.
(So, when we started dating, Mike was a crazy morning person. If he woke up at 5 a.m. to pee, he’d just stay up, and start working, or playing computer games or something. And he always fell asleep before I did. Always. I’m not sure when that stopped, but now, every night, I fall asleep while he watches old Star Trek episodes on the iPad, and he is the grumpiest of grumpy-pants in the morning. I think he’s worse than me. My mother and former roommates can verify that that is super-grumpy.)
What would you do if you opened up your front door to a dead person?
Like, a zombie? Or a corpse? Because my reactions to either would be drastically different…
(Corpse? Quick assessment. 1) Do we need to hide the body? Or are we in the clear? 2) Are we being framed? 3) Where is their wallet? Ok, call the police OR find an old rug we don’t care about. Zombies? 1) Hope for slow-moving Shaun of the Dead zombies, and not Zombieland zombies. 2) Get the pointy shovel from the garage and Mike’s golf clubs. 3) Destroy zombies, like this:
Who’s bed did you last sleep in?
Mike’s – hence the aforementioned sleepover.
(Mike & I started dating right before summer — so after a few weeks, I sort of moved in. He had central air, and my house was like an oven. Also, to say his house needed a woman’s touch would be an understatement.)
Where is the next place you will travel to?
Um…possibly Gettysburg on Father’s Day. OC in August for sure.
(Family vacation update: 15 days!! Get your game faces on, family. Cooooofeeeeee Table!)
Have you ever worn the opposite sex’s underwear?
I live in wifebeaters. Does that count?
Have you cried today at all?
No, but I was cranky pants this morning when I had to get up for work.
What were you doing at 8:00 this morning?
Still sleeping. Oops!
Do you say sexy a lot?
I tend to refer to things and their lack of sexiness.
(For example, things that are not sexy: the words “panties” and “coochy,” getting in or out of a hammock, going out to lunch and sitting outside — and then realizing you forgot to put on deodorant, or seeing your boss without his shirt on.)
When was the last time you had a sleepover?
Do you want to get married & have children one day?
Yes, and yes.
(Speaking of babies — in addition to all the appointments and tests we’re paying for, and which don’t count towards our deductible, I got a speeding ticket on my way to the doctor the other day. I’m adding it to the baby’s tab.)
What was the last thing you bought?
Food? Clothes? I can’t remember.
Where do you keep your money?
In a box in the toilet tank, just like in Pretty Woman.
What is the weather like today?
Hot, but not like balls hot.
(Today? It really is balls hot out there. Someone needs to punch Mother Nature in the face.)
Where are your parents?
They better be working. One day they’re going to have grandkids to buy things for.
What do you want for Christmas?
(I got one!)
Do you like to eat ice-cream?
Um, Yes. I would eat ice cream every day.
(Especially on days as hot as this.)
When do you go to sleep?
Who was the last person of the opposite sex that you talked to?
Mark, in my office. I offered to help him change the water bottle thingy, but then I said I was just being polite, and I didn’t really want to.
Do you have empty bottles of alcohol hidden somewhere?
I wouldn’t call strewn about my cubicle floor hidden, necessarily.
Are you over the age of 25?
I am. I am also over the age of 26.
(… and now I’m officially over the age of 30. Which means I’m old, but my mom is even older.)
Are you typically a jealous person?
No. OK, Yes. I was lying before.
Own bright colored underwear?
Yes. Although, it’s also edible.
What was the best movie you have seen in the past two weeks?
Sex and the City. Shoes?! Nudity?! Marital drama?! Yes, please.
(I’m finally going to see Harry Potter today!! And I already know it will be the best movie I’ve seen in the past two weeks. Also, since the last time I went to see Harry Potter.)
Do you have strange dreams?
What are you listening to?
People talking about pizza. I want to run over there and steal it from them, then run down the stairs laughing maniacally and then eat the whole thing in my car.
(The hum of the air conditioning. Also, now I want a pizza.)
Do you currently miss someone?
I miss your dad a little.
Three feelings at the moment?
Smitten, smietest, smytst.
Do you like your mom?
I like YOUR mom.
(I do like my mom, in case you were really wondering.)
Name someone with the same b-day as you?
LL Cool J. True story. Look it up.
What are your plans for tonight?
Gym, groceries, cleaning and organizing. It’s going to be a very domestic night.
(Harry Potter! Harry Potter! Harry Potter!)
If you could move somewhere else, would you?
Can I take everyone with me? Well, not everyone, but the people I like? Then yes.
(I’m not allowed to move more than 30 miles away from my mother. It sounds like a joke, right? because she loves me so much? She’s serious though. She told Mike that about 30 seconds after he proposed.)
Do you know if anyone likes you?
Bubz does. He told me so 158 times yesterday.
(He liked it so much, he put a ring on it, like seven months later.)