Customer Service

Washing machine can’t run any cycles that use cold water. Call the home builder and a plumber to check it out, and they all agree it’s an issue with the machine.

Under extended warranty, so no big deal.

Call Home Depot.

Home Depot says Service will call me.

Service says Samsung needs to fix it.

Service transfers me to Samsung.

Samsung rep legit sounds like Charlie Brown’s teacher, and I laugh at everything he (at least I think it was a he) for five minutes.

Charlie Brown hangs up on me. (He could hear me just fine, I gave him my number and asked him to call me back. He did not.)

I call Samsung directly, and this time I can hear, but it’s painfully obvious that English is not a first language.

I miss Charlie Brown a little. I have no idea how good his English was, but at least we had some laughs. 

Rep asks me to “troubleshoot” some things – like, disconnecting the water supply and taking the back panel off the washing machine.

Ummmmmmmm, no.

Rep then asks me to unplug the washer and plug it back in – like it’s a desktop computer from 1997 – and like that has anything to do with the water supply.

I pretend to do that.

I hold, and fantasize about setting things on fire.

An hour later, service is scheduled for later this week, thank you baby Jesus, and as of right now I didn’t have to resort to committing arson.

The Best Kind of Viral

If we’re not already Facebook friends (Why aren’t we? We should be, come find me!) then maybe you haven’t seen what I’m about to show you.

Or, maybe you have, since it’s gone viral.

My friend Priscilla’s husband Eric has been sending her Dubsmash videos for the last year, featuring their one-year-old son, Jack – and the compilation video they posted for friends and family was just picked up by Scary Mommy and The Today Show.

I’ll spare you the back-story (read the articles!) but if you do nothing else, watch the video. It’s so, so, hilarious.

Blizzard’d

With the exception of going outside to move a LOT of snow, and a trip to the doctor today, we’ve all be stuck inside since Thursday night.

We got a little more than two feet of snow, starting Friday at 2pm, finally stopping around 8pm on Saturday.

We got a plow attachment for our new tractor (we own a tractor now!) and it worked great – at first.

But then the snow was just too deep, and the driveway was a little too steep, and we ended up shoveling more than we originally anticipated. Thankfully one of our neighbors snow-blew his way over to us Sunday morning, and left us the snowblower to finish cleaning up our driveway.

(I want to buy them a gift card for dinner to say thank you, and I really, really, want to write, “Thanks for the snow job.” Too much?)

Everyone keeps asking us if Gus is enjoying the snow. The short answer is: No.

The long answer is: Gus ended up with an ear infection, double pinkeyes, horrible cold and, obviously, a fever, starting Saturday morning. (Which means Mike and I should have pinkeye by Wednesday, you think?)

I blame a young, snot nosed, gentleman who was LICKING everything at the Chickfila playground last week.

Thanks, buddy. Also thank your mom for me, for not watching you, at all.

And so we’ve been inside, tending to our goopy, snotty, miserable child.

The good news? I suspect there will still be snow for him to play in once he’s feeling better.

Definitely over by our mailbox. (The plowman obviously has beef with the mailman, right?)

Calendar Giveaway!

Hello friends!

Every year for the holidays, I design and give mini desktop calendars to friends and family — and, well — this year I printed too many.

Here’s where you come in!

I don’t really need more than one for myself, so TWO of you can have a set, if you’re interested.

I’m not going to make you do anything weird to get it, either. Just leave a comment below, and I’ll pick two someones randomly.

If you don’t get a free calendar (womp-womp!) but you see something you like in my Etsy shop, feel free to use the coupon code SPITEORFLIGHT during checkout to save 25%!

The Best Day

Gus is a real chatterbox, and — as toddlers tend to do — he’s starting to say some pretty hilarious things.

If you ask him a question, he’ll put on finger over his lips, and hum, “hmmmmm…” before pointing in the air and shouting, “AHA!”

The other day I gave him a cup of cheeseballs to snack on in the car (a delicacy he rarely gets), and after a few minutes of constant crunching he stopped and said, “Mmmmm, sooo licious, Mom!”

He routinely greets us with bear hugs, while screaming, “Good to see you!” and lately he’s been on a “Nice to meet you!” kick, complete with shaking hands. Last night, in the tub, he looked up at me and said, “Nice to meet you, nose!” and then he reached over and shook my nose.

Tonight he crawled up into my lap, poked my cheek and said, “Gus likes Mommy’s face!” and a few minutes later while I was bending over, he said, “Cool butt, Mom.”

But the best, the greatest, the most amazing so far was tonight, right after dinner, when he reached over to me to pick him up, and told us, “Gus loves Mommy!”

Then five minutes later, he loudly announced that he loves Nose, his new giant dinosaur pillow.

But I was first! Get in line, Nose!

2016

This is it!

I’ve been talking about it for years, and I’m finally going to make it happen.

THIS is the year I finnnalllly learn how to use my sewing machine (that I got in 2012).

The first year, I was finally pregnant (and busy and sick), the next year I had a newborn, and last year we were busy packing and moving.

But now I’m finally gonna do it. I’m registered for a beginners class in February.

Now I just have to find my sewing machine in the boxes in the basement.

(Also in February? Hopefully an attempt for baby #2, if all my consultations with my doctors go well in the next few weeks. Fingers crossed, friends!)