So, yesterday morning, I was on my way to the doctor to have some blood work done so we could start another round of IVF.

But then, this happened:

Long story short: I started to slide on some ice, tried to steer out of it, zigged back and forth across two lanes a few times, down into a ditch, and up and over in what I can only describe as a somersault.

I was upside down. Which was a new experience for me.

I remember a lot — although, upon further investigation, what I remember and what really happened aren’t really the same thing.

I remember being upside down, and knowing I needed to get out of the car. I tried to get my keys out of the ignition, but couldn’t. I unbuckled myself, and laid across the roof , and looked around for a way out. I distinctly remember seeing all the windows we’re broken (but today, when we emptied the car, only the driver’s side window was completely broken). Then I thought, just for a second, “Man, I hope I’m not too fat to crawl out a window.”

So, I grabbed my purse, and army crawled out the window, feet first.

Some people were there — they helped me stand up, and walk back over to the road, and across the very muddy ditch I flipped over. So, I was cold and very muddy, and bleeding a little — but aside from all that, and my pancaked car, I felt OK.

Someone called 911, but then everyone who had stopped had to leave. So, I waited on the side of the road for the police/ambulance/Mike to get there.

A lot of people who passed stopped and asked if I was OK, before one guy stopped and insisted I sit in his car and wait for help. His name is Matt, and he’s awesome — because when I realized I didn’t have my glasses on anymore and couldn’t see anything, he went into my car and came back with my glasses and my keys. (I was like, “My keys! How did you do that?!” and he said, “Well, you forgot to put your car in park.” Good one, Matt.)

The EMTs checked me out, and let us head to the hospital of our choice, where we sat for a few more hours before I got the OK to go home and rest. Meanwhile, the mud caked on my shoes (and about six inches up each leg) started to dry and fall off. So, when I went to the bathroom at the hospital, I left a trail of large, wet, brown lumps on the floor.

I was all, “OMG, I can’t leave that there! It looks like I pooped all over the floor!”

So I grabbed some paper towels and started frantically wiping up the mud — which helped, a little, but basically resulted in me smearing mud everywhere in huge streaks. So then it looked like I pooped all over the floor, and lazily tried to clean it up. Great.

The doctor told me I have “excellent bowel sounds,” so go ahead and be impressed. He said I was lucky, and fine — aside from some cuts and scrapes on my hands and legs, and probably a minor concussion.

Seriously — that’s it. Those are the only visible indications I was in a car accident. My neck, and head and back are sore — but I basically escaped unscathed.

A lot of people would think, why did this happen to me, why am I so unlucky? But I cannot express to you how lucky I am.

I was on a road surrounded by trees, which I did not hit. On the opposite side of the road, was a rocky creek I could have just as easily ended up upside down in. I slid into the opposite lane twice, and there were no cars coming. The only window that totally shattered was the one closest to me, and gave me an escape route. A car flipped over on top of me, and I stood up and walked away from it on my own.

I’m surprised how many people asked me if I was wearing my seat belt. I was. I always do, when I’m driving. I’ll be honest, I never do in the backseat of cars — but I will now.

Yes, it was icy, and it wasn’t my fault. You never expect these things to happen. Life is unpredictable. I was worried about being late for the doctor, and was probably driving faster than I should have, given the conditions. From here on out, I’d rather be five minutes late for something, than upside down in a car, or worse.

So, seat belts, people. Seat belts — all the time. Mine is the only thing that kept me from flipping over and crushing my head or breaking my neck.

Today, I am sore and bruised and woozy. My car is totaled (unofficially, but we’re sure it will be). I was cleared to start our new IVF cycle a day later (I was more upset about the possibility of having to skip this cycle, and about the ceramic cake stand in my trunk, then I was about my car, or my body).

But more than anything, I just feel lucky to be here.

Also, I’m psyched about that cake stand, which is still in one piece.