Friday Things

It’s finally starting to feel like fall, my favorite time of year. But, really, isn’t it everyone’s? I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone who hates fall. That’s like hating dessert. Or getting angry when you find money in the pocket of that coat you haven’t worn in months. Weirdos.

Speaking of fall, I’m on the hunt for a pair of over-the-knee boots (because I’m tall, and I love boots, and I think I can pull them off) but the search is a little difficult thanks to my slightly wider calves. I keep coming back to these, but then I can’t quite seem to pull the trigger. Thankfully Brittany Gibbons is willing to try stuff on, and report back to us.

I want to eat all these things. Don’t tell my nutritionist.

Except for these pancakes, because they’re too amazing to eat.

I love Mindy Kaling for a variety of reasons β€” the top being: 1) she’s hilarious and smart, and 2) she’s shaped like a normal human woman. Thanks to Worn on TV, you can wear what she wears! (Assuming you have a fair amount of money to burn.)

All of these quotes are good, but (surprise, surprise!) this one is my favorite:
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Totally Silent

I talk in my sleep, a lot.

And yes, sometimes it’s random nonsense (“rainbow sack, double blueberries!” or “that briefcase is hilARious!”) but more often than not, it’s totally clear and concise. Mike usually can’t tell right away if I’m awake or not.

Mike always asks me if I remember what I said the next morning. Normally I wake up in the middle of one of our “conversations” and realize I’m asleep, (so I do remember) and apologize, because I’m bossy and stubborn, even when I’m unconscious.

Like the time I got up, convinced the dog was stuck under our bed (even though she sleeps in her crate in another room) sat down and started patting the floor, saying, “come on, puppy, you can do it!” while Mike was all WTF are you doing, dear?

“THE DOG IS TRAPPED! Why aren’t you helping me?! Can’t you hear her? COME HERE PUPPY! Ooohhhhh, I’m asleep? Oh, ok. Sorry.”

So last night, when Mike woke me up, because I was allegedly snoring, I was quick to prove him wrong.

“Babe, you’re snoring.”
“NOO. I’m not.”
“Umm, yeah you are, you woke me up.”
“No. I was totally silent. Zzzzzzzz.”

And while I do vaguely remember the brief conversation, I still maintain I wasn’t snoring. He must have dreampt it.

We’ll never know for sure.

And Then We Went to the Zoo

I’m on a roll!

Yesterday Gus and I went to the zoo with my friend Julie and her son, Little Richard Harry.

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The boys had fun (I think? They waved and clapped a lot at least), Julie and I are now bffs with a giraffe, and it turns out Gus is terrified of roosters (who knew?!)

Also, Julie gave me an in-depth recap of The Rise of the Planet of the Apes, and then pointed out which chimps seemed most likely to revolt.

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We went the the zoo a lot when I was a kid, and we always had our picture taken on the lion statues just inside the entrance.

My mother reminded me 700 times to take Gus’s picture on the lion.

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And now I’m out of animal-themed day trips. We’ll just go back to our boring errands at Costco and Target.

Mr. Baby Goes to the Aquarium

This weekend we took Gus to the Aquarium for the first time.

He seemed to really enjoy himself (as much as a 10-month-old can, anyway) and he repeatedly tried to reach out and grab the fish, sharks, turtles, and jellyfish, etc. we saw while we were there.

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I imagine at this age, trips like this are more fun for the parents. I know I got super excited when a giant sea turtle swam through the new reef exhibit, and when the dolphins splashed by a few feet away from us.

The highlight of our day though, was probably when I dumped a whole bowl of Maryland Crab Soup in my lap. All over my WHITE shorts.

Bright RED soup. Squishy vegetables all over me. Hot soup running down my leg, and into my shoe. I was understandably upset.

And Mike puts his hand on my shoulder and says, “Oh honey, don’t worry. We can get you more soup.”

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Friday Things!

It’s September, already? How did that happen? And why does it finally feel like summer, now?! And, oh my god, I ordered the baby’s first birthday party invitations. WHAT IS HAPPENING?!

I can’t drink pumpkin spice lattes (who would’ve guessed the syrup is full of dairy?!) and I can’t eat these caramels either (stupid cream and butter!) but they sure are pretty to look at.

Speaking of delicious things, Buzzfeed thinks it can guess your favorite food. (Spoiler alert: I got ice cream.)

I have tried again and again, unsuccessfully, to convince Mike we need a baby goat. He keeps saying no.

If I ever have a bigger house, with a bigger kitchen, and some extra walls, this is the first thing I’m buying.

And finally, I don’t care who you are, when someone proposes with 1001 hotdogs, YOU SAY YES.

Trouble.

After last week’s high-chair debacle, I’ve made damn sure that Gus is securely strapped into his chair before I run to the kitchen to get him more food or drink.

So you can imagine my surprise when he Houdini-ed his way out of his chair (straps and all) right in front of me over our breakfast this morning, and climbed onto the MIDDLE OF THE DINING ROOM TABLE.

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This time was slightly less terrifying since I was sitting right next to him (and, obviously taking pictures with my free hand), but I’m sort of at a loss here, as far as how to keep him from doing it all the time.

So we can add high-chair escaping to the list of things I had no idea this kid could do, which also includes:

Reaching the top of the dining room table (glassware beware).
Reaching the top of the kitchen trash can (a failed attempt to quickly hide the dogs’ water).
Reaching the back of the toilet (several rolls of TP have been knocked into the bowl).
Reaching INTO the toilet (that was thankfully empty, but still gross, and unfortunate).

We’re in serious trouble once he’s fully mobile.

Friday Things!

Happy Labor Day weekend!

And Happy Almost Birthday, to the best husband a girl could ask for!

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I didn’t get a chance to celebrate International Dog Day, so here’s a bunch of dogs hugging their humans.

Speaking of dogs, Hello Kitty is … apparently NOT a kitty, at all?

True Blood is finally over (no more Civil War Bill flashbacks!!) but you can let the world know you belong to Eric Northman (because helloooooo Viking God) with one of these.

File this shirt under “things I need,” and “you got that right.” Ok, and this one too.

Call me crazy (no real ice cream for 10 months will do that to a girl) but I’m seriously considering spending $11 on a pint (or seven) of these.